Screw Magazine, 1976

Cathouse for Suckers

The cat was let out of the proverbial bag on April Fool's Day when Joey Skaggs, a conceptual artist who has spent years refining the art of suckering, appeared at the office of the New York State Attorney General in response to a subpoena to answer some questions about a cathouse he was supposedly running for dogs (reported on in Sex Scene, issue No. 364). At a press conference, before going in to see the Attorney General, Skaggs revealed that his whorehouse for horny hounds was wholly a hoax. A slightly embarrassed assistant to the Attorney General claimed that their office had never taken Skaggs' story seriously. "Why do you think we scheduled his appearance for April Fool's?" He asked.

Skaggs, a true artist of the harmless con, succeeded in convincing Midnight Blue SCREW and ABC-TV news that, for a fee, his veterinarian-supervised cathouse would guarantee a randy bitch to satisfy any ready male mutt. According to Skaggs, news syndicates were also suckered, and they distributed the "cathouse" story nationwide. The conned press in turn fooled the public, and the public was pissed. The Attorney General's office received a steady flow of irate complainants protesting that the cathouse was cruel to animals. Skaggs claims to also have been harassed or put under investigation by the New York City Department of Health, the ASPCA, the Humane Society, the Department of Licenses and the Vice Squad. The Attorney General was probably taken in, too, despite the assistant's denial. But they didn't show it when Skaggs skipped into the state prosecutor's office sporting an "April Fool's" T-shirt and a shit-eating grin because a morning newspaper had carried a story exposing the cathouse as a hoax, and Skaggs as a compulsive prankster. Knowing Skaggs' scheming psyche, we can safely say it won't be long before he tries to put one over on us again.


© 1997 Joey Skaggs