April Fools' Day Parade
New York, New York
In 1986, Skaggs launched his first April Fools' Day Parade down 5th Avenue from 59th Street to Washington Square Park in New York City. This was to be the beginning of a tradition that is ongoing today. Each year floats portray the most outrageous media events of that year. Spectators are invited to join the parade dressed as their favorite fool. At the end of the parade route, a fool of the year is selected by audience acclaim from the list of nominees.
Hook
Line
Sinker
A parade commemorating April Fools' Day and it's King or Queen, to be crowned by public acclamation, will march down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Tuesday, April 1st.
The parade, featuring a 76-trombone band, floats, banners, and major hoopla, will spotlight participants costumed as the nominated Fools of the year. The nominations were made by a select board under the auspices of the newly organized April Fools' Committee.
The New York April Fools' Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. All of these events fail to recognize the importance of the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind -- April 1st. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade will annually crown a King or Queen of Fools.
Among the nominees this year are Ed Koch, Ronald Reagan, Muammar Quadaffi, Ferdinand and/or Imelda Marcos, Geraldine Ferraro, Whoopi Goldberg, John DeLorean, Phyllis Diller, Joan Colins, and George Steinbrenner.
The public is invited to participate in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route.
The King or Queen of Fools will be chosen by the cheers of the crowd in attendance at the end of the parade in Washington Square. Their public acclaim will dub the winning National Fool of the Year, who will reign as King or Queen through March 31st, 1987.
1987
The second annual April Fools' Day coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Wednesday, April 1st.
The parade, featuring the winning hula troop from Hawaii's Merrie Monarch Festival, will spotlight impostors costumed as this year's nominees for the coveted Fool crown. The nominations were made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Committee.
The New York April Fools' Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind -- April 1st. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools. The winner last year was Ferdinand Marcos.
Among the nominees this year are Colonel Oliver North, Eugene Hosenfus, John Poindexter, Sylvester Stallone, Joan Rivers, Ronald Reagan, Nancy Reagan, and Ivan Boesky.
The public is invited to participate in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route.
The King of Fools will be chosen by the cheers of the crowd in attendance at the end of the parade in Washington Square. The winning National Fool of the Year, who will reign as King or Queen through March 31st, 1988.
1988
The Third Annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Friday, April 1st.
The parade, featuring the winning kazoo band from Kalamazoo, Michigan, will spotlight impostors costumed as this year's nominees for the coveted fool crown. The nominations were made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Committee.
The New York April Fools' Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind--April 1st. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools. The winner last year was Ronald Reagan.
Among the nominees this year are Gary Hart, Jim Bakker, George Bush, Sean Penn, Madonna, Jessica Hahn, Fawn Hall, Donna Rice and Oral Roberts.
The public is invited to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route.
The King of Fools will be chosen by the cheers of the crowd in attendance at the end of the parade in Washington Square. The winning national fool of the year will reign as king through March 31st, 1989.
1989
The Fourth Annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Saturday, April 1st.
The parade, featuring the famed Chorus of Yodeling Cowboys from San Antonio, Texas, will spotlight imposters costumed as this year's nominees for the coveted "Fool" crown. The nominations were made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Committee.
The New York April Fools' Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind--April 1st. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools. The winner last year was Jim Bakker.
Among the nominees this year are: Michael Dukakis, Mike Tyson, Robin Givens, Ayatollah Khomeini, Salman Rushdie, James Brown, Jimmy Swaggart, Dan Quayle, John Tower, Tawana Brawley, Reverend Al Sharpton, Geraldo Rivera, and Ben Johnson.
The public is invited to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route.
The King of Fools will be chosen by the cheers of the crowd in attendance at the end of the parade in Washington Square Park. The winning national Fool of the Year will reign as King (or Queen) through March 31st, 1990.
1990
The Fifth Annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Sunday, April 1st.
The parade, featuring the famed Bronx Cheer Choir from the South Bronx, New York, will spotlight imposters costumed as this year's nominees for the coveted "Fool" crown. The nominations were made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Day Committee.
The New York April Fools' Day Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind--April 1st. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools. The winner last year was Geraldo Rivera.
Among the nominees this year are: Donald Trump, Liz Smith, Captain Hazlewood, The Exxon Corporation, Andy Rooney, Ex Mayor Koch, Mike Tyson, Manuel Noriega, Leona Helmsley, Rob Lowe and Mayor Marion Berry.
The public is invited to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route.
The King of Fools will be chosen by the cheers of the crowd in attendance at the end of the parade in Washington Square Park. The winning national Fool of the Year will reign as King (or Queen) through March 31st, 1991.
1991
The Sixth Annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Monday, April 1st, 1991.
The parade, featuring the famed FDIC Whistling Chorus from Washington D.C., will spotlight imposters costumed as this year's nominees for the coveted "Fool" crown. The nominations were made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Day Committee.
The New York April Fools' Day Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind--April 1st. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools. The winner last year was Leona Helmsley.
Among the nominees this year are: Saddam Hussein, Donald Trump, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Pete Rose, Jordan's King Hussein, Neil Bush, John Gotti, George Steinbrenner, Michael Milken, Mikhail Gorbachev, Winnie Mandela, Marla Maples.
The public is invited to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route.
The King of Fools will be chosen by the cheers of the crowd in attendance at the end of the parade in Washington Square Park. The winning national Fool of the Year will reign as King (or Queen) through March 31st, 1992.
1992
The Seventh Annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Wednesday, April 1st, 1992.
The parade, featuring the famed Mike Tyson Black & Blues Band sponsored by Donald Trump, will spotlight impostors costumed as this year's nominees for the coveted "Fool" crown. The nominations were made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Day Committee.
The New York April Fools' Day Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind--April 1st. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools. The winner last year was Saddam Hussein.
Among the nominees this year are: Imelda Marcos, CUNY Professor Leonard Jeffries, S & L Boss Charles Keating, Gennafer Flowers, Geraldo Rivera, David Duke, Wilt Chamberlain, Proctologist Dr. Jeffry Levine (aka Dr. Tusch), Senator Ted Kennedy, LAPD Chief Daryl Gates, John Sununu, and Justice Clarence Thomas. The public is invited to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route.
The King of Fools will be chosen by the cheers of the crowd in attendance at the end of the parade in Washington Square Park. The winning National Fool of the Year will reign as King (or Queen) through March 31st, 1993.
1993
The New York April Fools' Day Committee has canceled the eighth edition of their annual celebration.
"We have scrapped plans for the traditional parade because of the insistence by gay activists that they march under their own banner and crown a Queen of Fools," said a spokesperson from the Committee. "The parade is dedicated to the notion that folly is a trait of the entire human race. We would rather not march than give in to the forces of separatism. We believe that in nominating Cardinal John O'Connor for the year's coveted award, we spoke out on behalf of our gay brothers and sisters."
The parade, which usually travels down on Fifth Avenue from 59th Street to Washington Square at noon on April 1st, followed by the coronation of the King of Fools, spotlights impostors costumed as the nominees for the King's crown. The public is invited to participate, in or out of costume, with or without a float. Hundreds of marchers and thousands of spectators made merry in last year's event, which proclaimed Geraldo Rivera Fool of the Year.
Amy Fisher, Joey Buttafuocco, Mary Jo Buttafuoco, Woody Allen, Mia Farrow, the Prince and Princess of Wales, Harry Connick, Jr., and late entries David Koresh and Mohammad A. Salameh are just a few of the Fools who had been nominated this year.
The New York April Fools' Day Committee was formed in 1986 to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind.
1994
The Ninth Annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Friday, April 1st, 1994.
The parade, led by The Tanya Harding Pipe Baton Twirlers on Roller Blades, will spotlight impostors costumed as this year's nominees for the coveted "Fool" crown. The nominations were made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Day Committee.
The New York April Fools' Day Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools. The winner last year was Cardinal John O'Connor for his stance on the '93 St. Patrick's Day Parade.
Among the nominees this year are: Heidi Fleiss, Michael Jackson, Louis Farrakhan, Beavis & Butt-head, Senator Bob Packwood, Ross Perot, Burt Reynolds and Loni Anderson, Rush Limbaugh, Aldrich Hazen Ames and Vladimir Zhirinovsky.
The public is invited to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route.
The King of Fools will be chosen by the cheers of the crowd in attendance at the end of the parade in Washington Square Park. The winning national fool of the year will reign as King (or Queen) through March 31st, 1995.
1995
The tenth annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Saturday, April 1st, 1995.
The parade, led by a White Ford Bronco driven by an Al Collings look-a-like, will spotlight impostors costumed as this year's nominees for the coveted "Fool" crown. The nominations were made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Day Committee.
The New York April Fools' Day Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools. The winner last year was Tanya Harding.
Among the nominees this year are: Newt Gingrich, O.J. Simpson, Connie Chung, Senator Jesse Helms, National Baseball League players and owners, Prince Charles, Lisa Marie Presley Jackson, Oliver North, Paula Corbin Jones, Benjamin Chavez (ex-NAACP Executive Director), Michael Huffinton (California Senatorial candidiate), Cindy Crawford and Richard Gere.
The public is invited to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. The floats this years will include a blow-up of Heidi Fleiss' little black address book and a privately funded exhibition of art curated by Senator Jesse Helms. In addition, passerby's will be given soft balls to toss at a portable dunking tank featuring a Connie Chung look-a-like. Striking baseball players are prohibited from participating.
The King of Fools will be chosen by the cheers of the crowd in attendance at the end of the parade in Washington Square Park. The winning national fool of the year will reign as King (or Queen) through March 31st, 1996.
1996
The eleventh annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Monday, April 1st, 1996.
The parade, led by the Republican Out-of-Step, Out-of-Tune, Out-of Time, All Wind Marching Band, will spotlight impostors costumed as this year's nominees for the coveted "Fool" crown. The nominations were made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Day Committee.
The New York April Fools' Day Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools. Last year the parade was led by a white Ford Bronco driven by an Al Collings look-a-like. That year's winner was O.J. Simpson.
Among the nominees this year are: Pat Buchanan, Princess Di, Louis Farrakhan, Hugh Grant, Calvin Klein, Al D'Amato, the entire O.J. Simpson Jury, the Mainland Chinese Government, F. Lee Bailey, Johnny Cochran, Steve Forbes, Magic Johnson, and Hillary Clinton.
The public is invited to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. The floats featured this year will include a library of the missing Whitewater files, a Colin Powell for Ô2000 float, the Radioactive Waste Material Searching for a Home float, the National Riffle Association's Automatic Weapons Demonstration on their Portable Shooting Range, and the Center for Disease Control Display of Up & Coming Lethal Viruses. The planned Howard Stern in Drag float was canceled for lack of interest.
The King of Fools will be chosen by the cheers of the crowd in attendance at the end of the parade in Washington Square Park. The winning national fool of the year will reign as King (or Queen) through March 31st, 1997.
1997
The twelfth annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Tuesday, April 1st, 1997. The parade will be led by a Pat Boone look-a-like leading cloned sheep & monkeys and mad cows while singing a heavy metal version of Old MacDonald Had A Farm. The crowd along the parade route is encouraged to sing along.
The New York April Fools' Day Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools. The parade spotlights impostor costumed as the year's nominees for the coveted "Fool"crown. Each year, the nominations are made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Day Committee. Last year the parade was led by the Republican Out-of-step, Out-of-tune, Out-of-time, All Wind Marching Band and the King of Fools was the entire O.J. Simpson criminal trial jury.
The public is invited to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. The floats featured this year will include the White House Lincoln Bed Float which will charge $100 a block for a ride, a Bob Dole Continuously Falling Off His Float float, a Tupac Shakur Death Reenactment Float, the Larry Flynt in a Wheelchair Chasing Chickens Float, Cathy Lee Gifford's Honduran Sweatshop Float sponsored by WalMart, the Roswell Alien Autopsy Float, the Ebonix Float followed by a Texaco Float featuring executives expounding racial slurs, the Roberto Alomar Spitting Float, the Presidential Advisor Float featuring Dick Morris talking on the phone while having sex with a prostitute, the Crashed Dodge Viper Float featuring Kelsey Grammer sucking the toes of a nurse, a Live Bomb Float featuring a pyrotechnic display and the FBI chasing Richard Jewell, and the Gulf War Float featuring burning toxic chemicals, followed by a Veterans of the Gulf War Float.
Marching look-a-likes will include: Ted Kaczynski, Tim McVeigh, Newt Gingrich, Dennis Rodman, Author Joe Klein, Defense Attorney Robert Baker, Reverend Al Sharpton, and all tobacco company executives.
At the end of the parade, there will be an auction to raise money for next year's parade. Among the items to be auctioned will be the names of the people who have slept in the Lincoln bed, Cathy Lee Gifford's WalMart collection of clothes, Dennis Rodman's wedding dresses, Mars rocks with microscopic life, Larry Flynt's personal chickens, more Jackie Onasis artifacts. Mad Cow Burgers will be served. The King of Fools will be chosen by the cheers of the crowd in attendance at in Washington Square Park. The winning national fool of the year will reign as King (or Queen) through March 31st, 1998.
WARNING: There have been an abundance of extraordinary Fools this year. Most of the impostors in this parade are potentially dangerous. This is definitely a parade for the brave and the foolhardy only.
1998
The thirteenth annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Wednesday, April 1st, 1998. The parade will be led by a Monica Lewinsky lookalike humming "Hail to the Chief." The crowd along the parade route is encouraged to hum along.
The New York April Fools' Day Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools. The parade spotlights the year's nominees for the coveted Fool crown played by costumed impostors. Each year, the nominations are made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Day Committee. Last year the parade was led by a Pat Boone lookalike leading cloned sheep, monkeys and mad cows while singing a heavy-metal version of "Old MacDonald Had a Farm." The Queen of Fools was Kathie Lee Gifford.
The public is invited to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. The floats featured this year will be constructed by New York City's leading art schools and will include a procession of "Lovers' Floats" led, of course by, the President Bill Clinton-and-Kathleen/Paula/Jennifer-and-Yet-to-be-Identified-Women Float. This will be followed by a Sultan of Brunei-and-his-American-Sex-Slaves-Palace Float. Closely following will be "Lovers in Cars Floats" led by a Princess-Diana-and-Dodi-Fayed-as-Angels-in-a-Wrecked-Mercedes Float and an Eddie Murphy-Making-Out-with-a-Drag-Queen-in-his-Car Float. In tow will be the Ex-Teacher Mary Kay Letourneaux-and-her-Fourteen-Year-Old-Lover-in-a-Volkswagen Float. The lovers' theme continues with a "Lovers' Lookalike Float" featuring Frank Gifford and Susie Johnson, Ellen Degeneres and Anne Heche, Marv Albert and his mutilated Latin lover, Woody Allen and Soon-Yi-Previn.
Bringing up the rear of the parade will be the Heaven's-Gate-Spaceship-Following-a-Comet Float and the Texas-Cattle-Ranchers-vs.-Oprah-Winfrey Float featuring lots and lots of real bull doodoo. Marching lookalikes will include: a crying Farrah Fawsett, a smiling Ken Starr, a poker faced Saddam Hussein, and a "What me worry?" Hillary Clinton.
At the end of the parade, there will be an auction to raise money for next year's event. Among the items to be auctioned will be a bobbing head dashboard doll in kneeling position, one hundred sets of knee pads with the presidential seal embroidered in gold, and Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee videotapes. The concession booth will serve stir fried Hong Kong chicken. The King of Fools will be chosen by the cheers of the crowd in attendance at Washington Square Park. The winning national fool of the year will reign as King (or Queen) through March 31st, 1999.
WARNING: This parade features a lot of bull. We are hoping for an El Nino rainstorm to help the clean-up.
1999
The fourteenth annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Thursday, April 1st, 1999. The parade will be led by the Why 2K? Blues Band. They'll be performing Bob Dylan's A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall. The crowd along the parade route is encouraged to sing along.
The New York April Fools' Day Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools. The parade spotlights the year's nominees for the coveted Fool crown played by costumed impostors. Each year, the nominations are made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Day Committee. Last year the parade was led by a Monica Lewinsky lookalike humming "Hail to the Chief." The King of Fools was Kenneth Starr.
The public is invited to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. The floats featured this year will be sponsored by New York City banks and public utility companies. Over one hundred artists have volunteered to create the floats this year. The parade will be led by the Doomsayer Apocalyptic Survivalists Float which will resemble a fortress created entirely from cans of spam. This will be followed by the End of the World as We Know It Chicago Bulls Float which will feature a sinking ship with a giant replica of Michael Jordan's NBA Jersey # 23 on the sail. Closely following will be the End of the Republican Party Float pulled by Newt Gingrich and other GOP lookalikes; the Popeye and Olive Oyl Marriage Ceremony Float marking the end of a good working relationship (the crowd is asked to throw Viagra instead of rice); the International Olympic Committee's Throwing the Moon Float towed by Salt Lake City Officials; the Clinton Little Piggy Float featuring the portly pepperpot Monica Lewinsky dressed in a foxy wolf's outfit huffing and puffing and blowing the White House down. Bringing up the rear will be the Reverend Jerry Falwell's Tinky-Winky Float sponsored by the Gay Men's Alliance.
Marching lookalikes will include: Mike Tyson throwing punches at passersby; Jessie "The Body" Ventura throwing his opposition; Linda Tripp throwing the bird; Bob Livingston throwing apologies; Mick Jagger throwing kisses; Hillary Clinton throwing cigars for votes; Mayor Giuliani throwing accusations.
Local and national newscasters have volunteered to pick up the trash along the parade route to be recycled on the nightly news. At the end of the route, parade sponsors will be dispensing free Bubba Rubba's© (prophylactics featuring the President's smiling face). And, in addition, there will be an auction to raise money for next year's event (if there is a next year). Among the items to be auctioned will be the Russian Government's Nuclear Arsenal offered to the highest bidder. The concession booth will serve MREs (military meals-ready-to-eat). No Euro dollars accepted. The King of Fools will be chosen by the loudest cheers of the crowd at Washington Square Park. The winning fool will reign as King (or Queen) through March 31st, 2000, we hope.
WARNING: This may be the last April Fools' Day Parade as the world may possibly end. Don't miss it!
For Immediate Release:
THE WORLD HAS SURVIVED Y2K SO THE SHOW MUST GO ON!
The fifteenth annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Saturday, April 1st, 2000. The parade will be led by The New York Homeless Blues Band, playing Brook Benton's "The Bol Weevil Song." The crowd is encouraged to sing along: "Gotta getta home..., Lookin for a home all right..." The band will continue marching long after the parade ends this year to avoid arrest for loitering or sleeping in the streets.
The New York April Fools' Day Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools. The parade spotlights the year's nominees for the coveted Fool crown played by costumed impostors. Each year, the nominations are made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Day Committee. Last year the parade was led by the "Why 2K? Blues Band." The King of Fools was President Bill Clinton.
The public is encouraged to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. The lead float will be the A Man's Home is His Castle Float, a fully occupied portable castle on wheels constructed entirely out of discarded trash and cardboard boxes. This float was created by New York homeless volunteers sponsored by Rudolph Giuliani's New York Senatorial Election Committee. Next will be three Beat 'em, Bust 'em, Book 'em Floats created by the New York, Los Angeles and Seattle Police Departments, portraying themes of brutality, corruption and incompetence. These will be followed by a Where's Mars? NASA Float portraying missed Mars missions. (This float cost at least $10 billion dollars). Following that will be the Atlanta Braves Baseball Tribute to Racism Float featuring John Rocker who will be spewing racial epithets at the crowd along the parade route.
Marching lookalike fools will include: Mayor Rudy "Doody" Giuliani throwing elephant dung at passersby; Brooklyn Museum Director "Shock and Schlock" Lehman handing out free tickets to the museum; Hillary Clinton handing out New York Yankee baseball caps; and George W. Bush, Al Gore, Bill Bradley, and John McCain tossing promises.
New York City taxpayers have "volunteered" to pick up the trash along the parade route. At the end of the parade, a concession booth will sell surplus Y2K food. Every purchase comes with a complimentary can of Spam.
To raise money for next year's parade, there will be a Special Auction for Custody of Elian Gonzalez. Will he remain in the U.S., return to Cuba, or go someplace else? Let the money talk!
The King of Fools will be chosen by the loudest cheers of the crowd at Washington Square Park. The winning fool will reign as King (or Queen) through March 31st, 2001.
2001
BURN BABY BURN: USHERING IN THE NEW MILLENNIUM
The sixteenth annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Sunday, April 1st, 2001. The parade will be led by the Marching Los Alamos Forest Rangers, who will be back-burning trash along the parade route in an attempt to ward off any accidental flash fires. They will be immediately followed by a Kathie Lee Gifford lookalike wearing a girdle outside her stretch leather pants singing "Come On Baby Light My Fire." The crowd is encouraged to light and throw matches and sing along to celebrate their efforts.
The New York April Fools' Day Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools. The parade spotlights the year's nominees for the coveted Fool crown played by costumed impostors. Each year, the nominations are made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Day Committee. Last year the parade was led by the New York Homeless Blues Band. The King of Fools was Mayor Rudy Giuliani.
The public is encouraged to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. Caution is advised this year as many of the floats will have pyrotechnic special effects. Parade confetti consists of shredded dot-com stock options and missing Florida election ballots.
Leading will be the Dante's Inferno Float featuring Supreme Court Justice lookalikes begging for forgiveness. This will be followed by the WTO Protest Spoilers Float featuring anarchists pelting the crowd with stones and Molotov cocktails. Next will be the LA Lakers Fan Club Float featuring an appliance store burning while it is being looted. Bringing up the rear, will be the Jerusalem Peace Float featuring Christians, Muslims, and Jews duking it out. Lurking behind the floats, we anticipate Unreformed Puerto Rican Day Parade Thugs will be roaming the streets. Females in the crowd can expect to have their butts pinched.
Marching lookalike fools will include: Reality-based television celebrity wannabes Rick Rockwell looking for a wife, Darva Conger looking for a buck, and Richard Hatch looking for his clothes. Other celebrity fool nominees include George Bush handing out tax rebates; Al Gore collecting missing election ballots; Slobodan Milosevic looking for a place to hide; Osama Bin-Laden assessing future targets; Dr. Laura Schlessinger begging for ratings; Robert Downey, Jr. trying to score; Sean "Puffy" Combs rapping alibis; and Reverend Jesse Jackson asking for forgiveness.
To recoup the rising cost of the parade (due to soaring gas prices), there will be a Special Auction for Missing Los Alamos Hard Drives. Concessions will be sponsored by Taco Bell featuring their Genetically Altered Corn Products.
Parade floats this year were constructed in penitence by Ralph Nader and Green Party volunteers using salvaged lumber from the 50,000 acres and 200 homes that burned in New Mexico forest fires. The floats' frames and chassis were donated by Ford from their Explorer SUVs. Tires are by Firestone.
The King of Fools will be chosen by the loudest cheers of the crowd at Washington Square Park. The winning fool will reign as King (or Queen) through March 31st, 2002.
2002
SLIP SLIDING CLOSER TO THE DRAINHOLE
The seventeenth annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Monday, April 1st, 2002.
The New York April Fools' Day Committee was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools from the parading look-alikes. Each year, the nominations are made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Day Committee.
The public is encouraged to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. WARNING: This year's parade will feature many terrorist imposters. In light of challenging world events, a caution is hereby issued to all participants and viewers. Security will be especially tight and the parade's advance down Fifth Avenue will be much slower than usual. In addition, land mines placed along the parade route will add to the excitement and suspense. To enhance the mood, the parade will be videotaped by Fox TV for a new reality-based television series called "Surviving Reality."
Leading the parade will be the U.S. Intelligence Float featuring Pentagon, CIA, FBI, NORAD, ATC, FAA agents and President George W. Bush scratching their heads (which are up their butts) as the World Trade Towers and the Pentagon burn. This will be followed by an Atlanta Airport Security Float featuring Michael Lasseter running down an up escalator; a U.S. Greenville Attack Sub Float featuring Captain Scott Waddle cruising for Japanese fishing boats; a U.S. Postal Service float with postal authorities handing out free antibiotics; a God's on My Side Float featuring Saddam Hussein and Yasir Arafat in the ring with Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell as the almighty Allah takes on the almighty Dollah. Bringing up the rear of the parade will be Lizzie Grubman driving a Mercedes SUV in reverse attempting to mow down all bystanders.
Marching impostors will include: Osama Bin Laden driving a yellow cab; President George W. Bush tossing pretzels to the crowd; Mayor Michael Bloomberg handing out dollar bills; Mark Green making complaints; Ariel Sharon shouting threats; shoebomber Richard C. Reid still trying to light his sneakers; and American Taliban John Walker trying to escape on a "Ginger" scooter.
All floats, confetti, food concessions, and free gift certificates for the President's "Shop, Shop, Shop" Campaign are provided by the generous contributions of the Enron Corporation.
To raise money for next year's parade, there will be a "Date a Creepy Celebrity" Auction. Prizes will include a date with Gary Condit, O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake, Mike Tyson, and Rudy Giuliani look-alikes.
Public Relations for the parade this year is being handled by Donald Rumsfeld's Pentagon Propaganda Unit. Buddha sculpture fragments will be sold at the Taliban concession stand to raise money for their future efforts. At the end of the parade a fireworks display will be generously provided by Peruvian fireworks street vendors.
The King or Queen of Fools will be chosen based on the loudest cheers of the crowd at Washington Square Park. The winner will reign through March 31st, 2003.
2003
DUCK & COVER
The eighteenth annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Tuesday, April 1st, 2003.
The New York April Fools' Day Parade was formed in order to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools from the parading look-alikes. Each year, the nominations are made by a select board under the auspices of the April Fools' Day Committee.
The public is encouraged to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. However, this year, the parade will be operating under Homeland Advisory Code Red status. Walking point, in case of a terrorist attack, will be red-faced look-alikes of high-profile fools who have exploited and embarrassed the nation, including numerous members of the clergy, former GE CEO Jack Welch, former ENRON CEO Kenneth Lay, and Martha Stewart. They'll all be singing Jimmy Reed's "Shame, Shame, Shame."
To protect the marchers and the crowd from sniper attacks, the entire parade route will be wrapped with military camouflage fabric by artist Christo. The CIA has generously offered to provide a fly-by of missile-armed unmanned surveillance drones for extra protection.
This year's floats will include a U.S. Government Reparations Float offering IOU's to Blacks, Jews, Japanese, Italians, Irish, Germans, Native Americans, Hawaiians and anyone else who feels they or their descendents have suffered or will suffer persecution; a $50,000 Hokget Lost-Dog-at-Sea Float, featuring a Hokget look-a-like feasting on spare ribs on a burned-out oil tanker; a Michael Jackson Dangling his Child off the Balcony Float; an Anti-Terrorism Disaster Readiness Float dispensing anti-radiation iodine pills, small pox inoculations, antibiotics, Valium and a supersize coupon for McDonald's; and the Axis of Evil Float featuring Iraq, Iran and North Korea showing off their latest surprise weapons of mass destruction. Bringing up the rear of the parade will be the Raelian Alien Clone Hoax Float being chased by drooling journalists.
Celebrity look-alike fools will include: President George W. Bush, John Ashcroft, Donald Rumsfeld, Boston's former Cardinal Bernard Law, Senator Trent Lott, Liza Minelli, David Geffen, Nicholas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley.
At the end of the parade there will be a number of booths, among them the Hot Off the Rack Boutique Booth featuring garments and accessories from Winona Ryder's closet.
In a daring attempt to create world peace through fashion by simply eliminating identifiable targets, renowned international designers will debut their burkha concepts in the burkha fashion booth. In addition, Christo's camouflage wrap will be cut into burkhas and auctioned to raise money for next year's parade.
The King or Queen of Fools will be chosen based on the loudest cheers of the crowd at Washington Square Park. The winner will reign through March 31st, 2004.
2004
LOOKING FOR A MIRACLE
The nineteenth annual April Fools' Day Coronation of the King of Fools will be marked by a parade down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Thursday, April 1st, 2004.
The New York April Fools' Day Parade was formed to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools from the parading look-alikes.
This year's theme song is "We're Off to See the Wizard." The public is encouraged to participate and sing along, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. The Grand Marshall will be John Hinckley, failed presidential assassin, released from prison for this event. He will be handing out new $3 bills featuring the face of President Ronald Reagan.
This year's floats will include the Iraqi War Float featuring President Bush showing off Saddam Hussein and taking collections to pay for the war and his re-election; the Michael Jackson Giant Bed Float where parents can hand off their kids to ride the length of the parade; the Catholic Church Miracle Float featuring hologram visions of the Virgin Mary weeping real chicken broth known to cure colds; the Export American Jobs and Illegal Aliens Float handing out one way tickets to the third world country of your choice; the Exposed CIA Operatives Float sponsored by unknowns in high places at the White House; the 2.5-ton Ten Commandments Monument Looking-for-a-Home Float; the Smoker's Only Bar/Restaurant Float; a Rush Limbaugh Free Prescription Painkiller Float; and bringing up the rear, the Democratic Presidential Candidates Float on the way to see the wizard.
Marching celebrity look-alike fools will include: Kobe Bryant bouncing his balls; Scott Peterson looking for an alibi; Britney Spears looking for a clue; Pete Rose taking bets; Robert Durst, acquitted cross-dressing murderer, carrying a chainsaw; Glen Campbell attempting to knee police officers; and Gary Ridgway, the Green River Killer, checking out the crowd.
At the end of the parade a party will begin in Washington Square Park. There will be surprise entertainment and concession booths including a food booth hosted by the German cannibal Armin Meiwes. He will not be serving mad cow burgers, as he apparently has other gourmet specialties in mind. And, for five bucks you can kiss Paris Hilton anywhere you want and get a free video. All proceeds will be donated to PETA. In addition, there will be a Marriage Chapel where anyone can marry anyone or anything; and for those of you who still haven't gotten yours, killer, ex-nurse Charles Cullen will be dispensing free flu shots. At least he says they're flu shots...
All gasoline for this year's parade floats is generously provided by the Halliburton Corporation. Additional financing is provided from skimmed profits courtesy of the Wall Street Mutual Fund Industry. Former NY Times writer Jayson Blair will provide live color commentary for CNN. The King or Queen of Fools will be chosen based on the loudest cheers of the crowd at Washington Square Park. The winner will reign through March 31, 2005.
2005
The 20th Annual April Fools' Day Parade will march down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Friday, April 1st, 2005. After two decades, New York's most irreverent parade has finally been officially sanctioned by the City of New York. Also a first, the parade will be broadcast live from 12 noon to 3 p.m. on Time Warner Cable channel 25. The New York April Fools' Committee thanks the Mayor, the city, all our sponsors and participants over the years for their support.
The New York April Fools' Day Parade was created in 1986 to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York¹s annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools from the parading look-alikes.
This year's parade, "Divided We Stand", will memorialize the efforts made by people around the world to maintain their power, whether political, religious or personal, at the cost of the greater common good. The Parade Grand Marshall will be Ex CBS Anchor, Dan Rather. The theme song "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition" will be sung by President George W. Bush. The public is encouraged to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. Large float entries must be at 59th Street and 5th Avenue no later than 11:30 a.m..
This year's floats will include the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth float, sinking in a sea of lies; the New York Governor George Pataki float in a canoe up a canal without a paddle; the Mud Wrestling float, with Michael Moore taking on all challengers; the Indiana Pacers and Detroit Pistons "We'll Kick Your Butt" float (bystanders are invited to throw beer); the NHL Ice Rink float featuring owners and players kicking each others' butts; and the Airlines' Lost Luggage float. The rear of the parade will be flanked by an empty flatbed truck representing the "Where's God?" float.
Marching celebrity look-alike fools will include: Donald Trump handing out pink slips while wearing one; Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger shouting "girlie man!"; Ex New Jersey Governor James E. McGreevey announcing "I am a gay American"; Sponge Bob screaming "I am not gay!"; Jimmy Swaggert looking to kills gays if they look at him romantically; Bill O'Reilly looking for lust; Anna Nicole Smith looking for money; Attorney General Alberto Gonzales looking for someone to torture; Bill Burkett handing out forged documents to any reporter who will take them; Jeff Gannon, White House pseudo-reporter, handing out fake IDs; Zell Miller ranting "Dissent is treason!"; Howard Dean just ranting; Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps toasting the crowd again and again; Prince Harry dressed as a Nazi looking for the Halloween Parade; and Ann Coulter being Ann Coulter.
There will be a party with live music, entertainment and food concessions at the end of the parade in Washington Square Park. Revelers can visit the Ukrainian Home Cooking booth featuring the famous Dioxin Borscht served by Ukraine's Ex Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych; a Social Security Casino concession; and a Steroid Sampling booth manned by Baseball players José Conseco, Barry Bonds and Jason Giambi. Mel Gibson will also be on hand to man his Crucifix Photo-Op concession featuring a ten foot cross with a portrait portal. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld will be collecting scrap metal donations for his Soldiers Vehicle Rearmament Program. And, Harvard President Lawrence Summers will oversee an innate intrinsic gender aptitude research booth featuring Condoleeza Rice and Karl Rove naked as test peek-a-boo science of sex comparison subjects. For $5.00, which will help to support next year's parade, the public will be allowed to seek essential differences by asking one question each. Also, Kofi Annan will host a U.N. Food for Oil concession stand. Generous funding for this parade is provided by Pfizer and Merck who will distribute free Celebrex and Vioxx. The King or Queen of Fools will be chosen based on the loudest cheers of the crowd at Washington Square Park. The winner will reign through March 31, 2006.
2006
The 21st Annual April Fools' Day Parade will march down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Saturday, April 1st, 2006.
The New York April Fools' Day Parade was created in 1986 to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools from the parading look-alikes.
This year's theme is "It's not a question of if... it's a matter of when". The parade will memorialize war, famine, pestilence, plague, asteroids, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tornados, tsunamis, global warming and general impending doom. The Parade Grand Marshall will be President George W. Bush. The theme song, Sam Cooke's "Wonderful World (Don't Know Much About History)" will be sung in "apocalypso" style by the Dover School Board Intelligent Design Marching Band. The public is encouraged to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. Large float entries must be at 59th Street and 5th Avenue no later than 11:30 a.m.
This year's floats will include a Fundamentalist Noah's Ark float featuring two of all of earth's creatures, including dinosaurs; a Hurricane Katrina Victim's float where for $1 a throw you can attempt to dunk Michael Brown in a vat of toxic sludge packed with snakes, rats and a big crocodile; a Last Chance Cruise Ship float offering gambling and shuffleboard, plus off-shore abortions when Roe v. Wade is overturned; and a Clandestine CIA Prison float featuring the latest prison torture techniques.
Marching celebrity fool look-alikes will include: Jack Abramoff, Karl Rove, Harriet Miers, Kate Moss, Terrell Owens, Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Tom Cruise, and Jude Law.
At the parade's end in Washington Square Park a party with live music, food concessions and entertainment will feature a Public Book Burning for Oprah Winfrey's recommended memoir "A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey. Attendees can also visit an array of fund-raising booths such as the Dick Cheney Shooting Gallery; Wayne Gretsky and Janet Jones' Betting Parlor; the Halliburton Commercial Eavesdropping-for-Profit booth offering a "Spy on Anyone Anytime" program; and a Take-Your-Chance Petting Zoo featuring chickens, ducks & geese, sponsored by Roche, the makers of Tamiflu.
Radio personality Bill Bennett will host the Best of Racist Comments show, live from the park featuring Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh. As a safety precaution, no mimes or cartoon sketch artists will be allowed to participate this year.
The Tom DeLay Election Fund contributed generous funding for this year's parade. The Minute Men Immigrant Labor Pool have graciously volunteered to provide janitorial services.
The King or Queen of Fools will be chosen based on the loudest cheers of the crowd at Washington Square Park. The winner will reign through March 31, 2007.
2007
The Circus is Coming! The Circus is Coming!
The 22nd Annual April Fools' Day Parade will march down Fifth Avenue, from 59th Street to Washington Square Park, beginning at 12 noon, Sunday, April 1, 2007.
The New York April Fools' Day Parade was created in 1986 to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New YorkÕs annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools from parading look-alikes.
The parade will be led by Willie Nelson's tour bus with all the windows open to provide a free contact high to get revelers in the mood. The Parade Grand Marshall will be ex-Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld dressed in a body bag. Accompanied by the Totally Partisan Clown Band, he will lead the crowd in a sing-along of the theme song "Send in the Clowns" by Stephen Sondheim: "Isn't it rich? Isn't it queer? Loosing my timing this late in my career? Where are the clowns? There ought to be clowns. Well, maybe next year."
The public is encouraged to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. Large float entries must be at 59th Street and Fifth Avenue no later than 11:30 a.m.
This year's parade will include a Still-Looking-for-Jimmy-Hoffa float with federal agents digging up a barnyard on wheels; the King-of-the-Blow-Hards float starring Donald Trump on a self-aggrandizing rant, with a tearful Miss USA Tara Conner polishing his shoes; the Blatant-Hypocrites float featuring ex-Congressman Mark Foley, ex-Pastor Ted Haggard, Boulder, Colorado District Attorney Mary Lacey, and Durham County North Carolina District Attorney Mike Nifong; the Saddam-Hang-Em-High-Execution float featuring Shiite executioners illegally recording and exalting his death; the James-Brown-Gold-Casket float with Tomi Rae Brown and Reverend Al Sharpton rehearsing for an episode of MTV's "Yo Momma"; the Giant-Election-Ouija-Board float with Democratic and Republican presidential candidates spinning to find out which way to go.
Marching celebrity fool look-alikes will include: Senator John Kerry with his mouth taped shut; Astronaut Lisa Nowak in a NASA diaper; Paul McCartney sawing off Heather Mills' wooden leg; World Cup star Zinedine Zidane head-butting unsuspecting spectators; John Mark Karr dressed as JonBenet Ramsey; "Sara", the supposed 29-year-old virgin looking for Mr. Right, naked except for the bag over her head; Patricia Dunn and other ex-Hewlett Packard executives reciting the Fifth Amendment; Reverend Jerry Falwell calling for the apocalyptic return of Christ; and psychic evangelist Pat Roberson predicting chaos.
Providing color commentary for ABC-TV's fictional documentary on the parade will be director Mel Gibson, comedian Michael Richards, actor Isaiah Washington and Senator Virgil Goode.
As the parade ends in Washington Square Park, the party begins, featuring live music, food, concessions & entertainment. To kick it off, there will be a 100-yard drug-enhanced sprint between track star Marion Jones on foot and Tour de France winner/loser Floyd Landis on a bicycle. The winner will be rewarded a free ride on Willie Nelson's bus.
Taco Bell will provide free spinach, green onion & lettuce salads. Booths will include a Bio-Medical Tissue Services booth, which will accept cadaver parts, no questions asked; a Democratic Procreation Booth where George Soros will give $1,000 per parental pledge to raise an offspring as a Democrat, because "the only way to beat 'em is to out-produce 'em"; and an Anna Nicole Smith "Who's Your Daddy" paternity testing booth. O.J. Simpson will autograph recalled copies of his book, "If I Did It." And ex-Cincinatti Reds baseball star Pete Rose will autograph his balls. Regrettably, the Boston Red Sox had to withdraw their generous offer to fund the parade this year due to another commitment of $52 million. Instead, funding is provided by the Congressional Felons Retirement Fund.
The King or Queen of Fools will be chosen based on the loudest cheers of the crowd at Washington Square Park. The winner will reign through March 31, 2008.
2008
The 23rd Annual April Fools' Day Parade will march down Fifth Avenue from 59th Street beginning at 12 noon, Tuesday, April 1st, 2008. The parade route has changed temporarily due to construction in Washington Square Park. This year the parade will detour east across Fourteenth Street to Union Square where the post-parade festivities will begin.
The New York April Fools' Day Parade was created in 1986 to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's annual ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the perennial folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge that gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King of Fools from parading look-alikes.
The parade will be led by President George Bush and his entire cabinet. They will be given a 60-second lead and then pursued by an outraged lynch mob. This will be followed by a Macy's Day Parade-size helium balloon of a B52 Bomber Equipped with Nuclear Missiles flying overhead as the April Fools' Day Parade Marching Band plays Woody Guthrie's "So Long, It's Been Good to Know You." The Parade's Grand Marshall will be Ralph Nader, appropriately dressed as The Jester.
The public is encouraged to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. Floats can be no wider than 10 feet and no longer than 25 feet. They can be self-propelled, towed, pushed or pulled. Customized bicycles, tricycles, baby carriages and aerial balloons are welcome. The Parade Committee assumes no liability for damages caused by satire. All participants are costumed look-alikes. Parade floats and marchers must be at 59th Street and Fifth Avenue no later than 11:30 a.m.
This year's floats will be led Mardi Gras-style by Angelo Mozilo, CEO of Countrywide Financial, and instead of beads his Loan Shark Cronies will toss out loans you can't refuse to the crowd; Michael Vick will be taking bets on his Dog Fight Float with caged, snarling pit bulls; a Chinese Dry-Cleaning Float will feature Roy Pearson screaming, "Where are my pants? I'm going to sue!"; an Archeological Dig float designed by James Cameron will feature Jesus and Mary's Bones; a Tourette's Syndrome Float will feature radio personality Don Imus, political pundit Ann Coulter, the Reverend Louis Farrakhan, radio talk show host Bill Cunningham, and Dog the Bounty HunterÑall shouting obscenities at the crowd; and a Mayflower Hotel Suite Float featuring New York Governor Eliot "Dickhead" Spitzer surrounded by hookers while promising "I will work hard to win back your trust".
Marching celebrity fool look-alikes will include Senator Larry Craig insisting, "I'm not gay!"; Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore insisting, "I am gay"; Cheney Aide Scooter Libby pleading "Pardon me, pardon me!"; disruptive political protestor Andrew Meyer surrounded by cops screaming, "Don't tase me, bro"; ex-Attorney General Alberto Gonzales asserting, "To the best of my recollection, I don't remember anything"; baseball great Roger Clemens protesting, "I never used steroids!"; ex-cop Drew Peterson calling for his missing wife to "Come home, just come home"; contagious TB world traveler Andrew Speaker coughing on the crowd; and a dazed Britney Spears looking for the Halloween Parade.
Color commentary will be provided by ex-Philadephia TV newscaster Alicia Lane in a thong bikini. Security this year will be provided by mercenaries courtesy of Blackwater.
As the parade ends in Union Square, the party begins, featuring live music, food, concessions & entertainment. The Chinese Government will be sponsoring a Food and Drug Concession and a Chinese Pet Food Booth. The USDA will be giving away free hamburgers. Attorney General Michael Mukasey and the CIA will provide free demonstrations of Waterboarding. Sex offender Deb LaFave will run a Day Care Center for paraders' children. And OJ Simpson and his posse will hawk his sports memorabilia to raise money for next year's parade.
We are grateful to the New York State Council on the Arts, National Endowment for the Arts, Mayor Michael Bloomberg, and private funders for their support of this year's parade.
The King or Queen of Fools will be chosen based on the loudest cheers of the crowd at Union Square. The winner will reign through March 31, 2009.
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1986
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APRIL 1st PARADE TO HONOR FOOL OF THE YEAR
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SECOND ANNUAL APRIL 1st PARADE
TO PROCLAIM FOOL OF THE YEAR
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THIRD ANNUAL APRIL 1ST PARADE
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SEVENTH ANNUAL APRIL FOOLS' DAY PARADE
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COMMITTEE CANCELS
EIGHTH ANNUAL APRIL FOOLS' DAY PARADE
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APRIL FOOLS' DAY PARADE
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CELEBRATING NEW YORK CITY'S 10th ANNUAL APRIL FOOLS' DAY PARADE!
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ANNOUNCING:
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NEW YORK CITY'S 23rd ANNUAL APRIL FOOLS' DAY PARADE
