New York Post
Page Six
March 30, 2002

By Richard Johnson

One Parade You'll Never See

IF you see Osama bin Laden driving a yellow cab on Fifth Avenue on Monday, don't panic. He's just part of the 17th annual April Fool's Day Parade, which will feature lookalikes this year, according to parade chairman and media hoaxer Joey Skaggs. "This year's parade will feature many terrorist imposters . . . a caution is hereby issued to all participants and viewers. Security will be especially tight and the parade's advance down Fifth Avenue will be much slower than usual," a press release states. "Land mines placed along the parade route will add to the excitement and suspense." The God's on My Side float will feature Saddam Hussein and Yasser Arafat squaring off against Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell. "Bringing up the rear will be Lizzie Grubman driving a Mercedes SUV in reverse," Skaggs said. If you didn't catch the hint that real parades march up, not down, Fifth Avenue, be advised: This one exists only in Skaggs' imagination. Too bad, because it might have been fun.


© 2002 Joey Skaggs