New York Post
Page Six
March 17, 2001


By Richard Johnson

One parade that won't snarl traffic


IT'S smaller than St. Patrick's Day, and less perverse than the Halloween procession, but the April Fools' Day parade is the favorite of many new Yorkers -- precisely because it doesn't exist. Imaginative media hoaxer Joey Skaggs, has helped "organize" the fictitious spectacle, which always draws a few gullible camera crews, for 16 years. This year's non-procession down Fifth Avenue from 59th Street to Washington Square -- real parades march up the avenue -- will be led by the Los Alamos Forest Rangers, who will be back-burning trash along the route, and a Kathie Lee Gifford-lookalike singing "Come On Baby Light My Fire." "The crowd is encouraged to light and throw matches and sing along," Skaggs told a skeptical PAGE SIX. The Dante's Inferno Float will feature Supreme Court Justice-lookalikes who'll be showered with hanging chad confetti. "We anticipate Unreformed Puerto Rican Day Parade Thugs will be roaming the streets," Skaggs said. "Females in the crowd can expect to have their butts pinched." Skaggs -- who in years past dreamed up Fat Squad enforcers to physically restrain dieters from eating -- said April 1 is important because it commemorates the perennial folly of mankind, and puts "people back in touch with their inherent foolishness."

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© 2001 Joey Skaggs